More Emo than 2007 Pete Wentz
by VigilantBallofPassion
Summary: Takasugi reminiscences about how he met his lover, who is currently on the hunt for chocolate.


Takasugi writing prompt; More emo than 2007 Pete Wentz

Author's note: This is a Gintama fanfic. I got the idea from Okiitas Imagines, on Tumblr. Who answered the request of "How would Takasugi & Hijikata respond if their SO said they were more emo than 2007 Pete Wentz? This fic is based on Okiitas-san's answer. I don't own either. (Here is a link to Okitas-san's tumblr: search/okitas+multi+imagines )

Key: (Y/n) = your name  
(h/c)= your hair color  
(f/c)-= you favorite color  
(c/s)= chest size  
(e/c)= eye color

(l/c)=Color you like the least

The land of the Samurai. Samurai. The word brings to mind pictures of men with sharp swords and even sharper ideals about honour. Those days were long gone. Now beings from all over the galaxy, all different shapes, shapes and species, as a whole was known as Amanto were now all over the land where Samurai one roamed.  
Somewhere in the darkness of space, orbiting in space was a sleek red spacecraft, about the size of a luxurious yacht. It was heading towards the milky way, more specifically the third planet closest to the sun. The ship was a newer model, and incredibly expensive. Any passing spaceships would have thought that the Sazanami (Ripples on the water's surface) was just another privately owned leisure ship for some socialite to enjoy on the weekends with their friend.. It was almost anything but. Several men in black suit worked here and there on board the ship. But those are stock characters and are not important to the story.

One of the men, operating the control panels looked up at the sky as if sensing something was off. His brown eyes crinkled. "What's the matter, Lee?" A man next to him, another pointless background character, staring at the map.

"I don't know. But, Yoo-sung... it feels as if we were being insulted somehow." the men chuckled at the realization that Lee was just being silly. Deep in their hearts they knew that they were the main characters.

The living quarters on the ship did an incredible job of providing a comfortable, living area for the people on board. The Ships inhabitants, lounged around enjoying a lazy Sunday. Leading the "demon army" usually kept them very busy. So the general mood on board was to enjoy it while it lasted.

The ship's common room was sparsely decorated room with white panels, and held several couches, a birdhouse/ shrine television, a few easy chairs, a table, a couple of bookshelves and mini bar. A vixenly blonde woman lay sprawled out on the sofa, lazily flipping through this week's edition of Buttons*. The remote control was next to her porcelain elbow, as she was hiding it from Henpeita Takechi, so he could not turn on any magical girls anime. Lolicons, moonlighting as feminists can not be trusted to have decent taste in television.

The Lolicon in question was sitting on the other side of the room, sewing doll clothes together. Once it was finished, he would donate it to an orphanage for little kids to dress up their dolls in. Takeichi had quite the talent at making clothes. Right now he was sewing a brilliant crimson kimono with detailed scene from a Japanese fairy tale. His bulbous, brown eyes blinked as he studied his handiwork. On the other couch was a man in his early twenties, with styled, blue hair, strummed a few notes on his shamisen, playing along with whatever song he was listening to with his headphones on.

Yes, any passerby that managed to take a glimpse of this Trio, would have assumed they were rich socialites on vacations. Never would they have thought that the bored young woman with the fashion magazine was the Feared red bullet, Kijima Matako. The metallic glint at her waster were her haltered pistols. When she takes a shot, she never misses. The man sewing the doll clothes, was known for his eccentricities as well as his abilities as a strategist. Many battles were won because of his awe inspiring ability to plan and guess the enemies' thoughts. Not much was known about the handsome man strumming the guitar, accept that his name was Kawakami Bansai, his Shamisen, the metallic floss of the guitar like instrument were were all too deadly for anyone who was ill-fated to find themselves wrapped in its grip.

They were known as The Kiheitai, or Demon army. Their leader, the only man in all of Edo, all of Japan, the universe perhaps that could bring such a powerful and diverse group together was the most dangerous, and extreme of the anti-bakufu rebels; Takasugi Shinsuke. The very man mentioned before, lounged on the balcony of the ship. An entirely clear, protective bubble covered it when in outer space. The awning provided oxygen, safety from stray asteroids, and offered an unobscured view of the heavens.

The movement of the ship, caused a slight breeze to ruffle his obsidian locks. The smoke blew in wisps from his thin, golden pipe. The hazy, earthy, floral scent of poppies wafted over him. The infamous Joui rebel, Takasugi Shinsuke. He was known as one of the four demon generals during the Joui war, fighting alongside the Rampaging Noble, Katsura Kotaro; the Loud Fellow, The Dragon of Katsurahama, Sakamoto Tatsuma; and the White Yakasha, Sakata Gintoki.

A bright flashing light shot out across the sky. A shooting star. An image flashed across the Joui rebel's mind as he took in the beauty of the galaxy. It was of the newest member of the Kiheitai. Masumi Inoue. Takasugi bought her only a year before. 'Masumi was thrilled the first time she was in space.' His normally cold eyes warmed. 'She took to it better than I thought she would. For a woman that has never left Earth in her life.' he took another puff from his pipe. 'I never thought someone would mean that much to me. Not after the war. When we started everyone is just pawns to use…' his pale hands gripped the railing of the ship tighter. 'Matako, Bansai, and Takechi are almost like family.' Takasugi chuckled to himself. 'I am getting sentimental in my old age.' He shook the thought away. 'Masumi is something more than that.' The memories washed over him like the gentle lapping of waves onto the shore, at low tide.  
***

The purple yukata, Shinsuke Takasugi favored contrasted violently with the scarlet bridge of the Harusame, the infamous space pirate's vessel. The Harusame, vicious, ugly brutes, all of them different types of Amanto stood lining the sides of the bridge watching him. All of them brandishing various types of weapons. None attempted anything; whether this is because they feared repercussions from their captains for attacking a guest or despite appearances, they were intelligent enough to know better than to attack someone of his strength was unknown. Too be honest, Takasugi could not care either way. If they tried anything, it would not take him more than a few seconds to slay them where they stood.

Takasugi's subordinate Bansai was supposed to handle this meeting, as he was the most charismatic out his squad, and he had met with them before. But, the terrorists/ music producer fell ill. He stayed out all night at a party- celebrating the release of the young idol Tsuu Terrakada's new CD release, and caught a bad cold. So Takasugi thought it would be best if he just went himself. A flash of metal caught his eye! Then several Harusame members went flying past him! (One literally, as they had large, leathery wings spanning it's back).  
"What's happening?" a leopard creature with a mohawk asked a more humanoid man with six arms.

"The newest slave that the Cap'n bought isn't submitting, easily. Are ya sure she's human? More like a wild beast." He muttered as they hurried to the scene of the fight.

The other member, another humanoid Amanto, this one was female, very reptilian. Her flesh, what could be seen under her black armor, was covered head to toe in shiny, silver scales. "Yeah. Ssshe'ss human. We jussst got her from the land of the Sssamurai." The Amanto hissed. "Sssome basstard child of a noble. Typical ssstory. Hisss wife got jealousss, and sssold the child of the missstresss." She shook her head, "But I have never sseen a ssslave take out ssix Harusssame before!" She crossed her arms over her chest

"We don't have time for this!" The leopard muttered, jumping off of the railing, down to the fight happening below. The other Harusame followed suit.

'Interesting.' Takasugi smirked, perfume-y wisps of opium smoke trailing around his face. The Joui extremist leaned over the ornate, arching railing to watch the show.

On the deck of the ship. Was a single girl. A young woman really. Takasugi's figured she must be in her early twenties. The women's (h/c) hair was twisted into braids that crowned her head. A rather large gash on her forehead streaked crimson liquid across her face. Even from the distance, Takasugi's eye could make out the twinkling of gold thread woven into intricate designs of butterflies. nevertheless, is now tattered and dyed in red. Her (C/S) bosom was heaving with exhaustion.

Studying her further, Takasugi's dark eyebrows shot up into his hairline and his breath caught in his throat. Even though the newly captured slave appeared to be on her last leg, her eyes… Those (E/c) eyes burned with the passion of a thousand suns. Those were the eyes of a warrior. They reminded Takasugi of someone else. From long ago, a certain white-haired samurai that stood beside him, and faced countless battles.

Several feet away from the girl was a small crowd of Harusame. Five of six lay, unmoving at the girl's feet. A toxic, liquid oozed from wounds in several parts of the corpses bodies. Armed with twin sais, both of which were clearly tainted with some sort of poison, the girl dashed at any of the pirates that came to close.

For someone who most likely did not have any formal training, she was doing amazingly. Takasugi tried to remember what he knew about the Inoue clan. Their clan martial arts and swordsmanship, and taught several noble families. While they were not as prominent as the Yagyuu family in that particular field, nor as wealthy- the Inou clan held up their own, particularly in matters of hand to hand combat. Most likely, that someone took pity on the lord's mistress's child and decided to teach her.

As for the poison, Takasugi had not the slightest idea of how she came about that. Not that he would ever admit it, but he was often curious. And right now he very much wanted to know more about that woman.

The Rhino-like Amanto's gray, leathery face reddened and he charged forward. Sidestepping him, the girl lashed out with her left hand and caught her hand. Before any blood at time rush to the surface of the Amanto's wound. the thick, rough, gray flesh started to pulse and the radioactive green toxin dripped down.

'Aooooooowoooooo!" the Rhino-like Amanto bellowed at the top of his lungs, and he charged forward again blindly. The slave narrowly missed being skewered by the Amanto's ivory husk! Lamentably in the confusion, the girl did not notice the figure creep up behind her. A moe, Lolita like an Amanto who was cosplaying as Perona from the _Shonen Jump_ manga, _One Piece_. The Female Amanto's pink wig flapped as she headbutted the slave, knocking the human girl out instantly.

The Harusame members, began a heated debate on whether or not she should be severely punished for her transgressions or not, before she was sold. "I will take her." Takasugi's voice cut out above their grumbling. Everyone looked up at their guest with befuddlement covering their conspicuous faces. The Lolita looked up, glaring sharply at Tagasugi.

Botan, was the 29th squad captain in the Harusame. It was rare to have female pirates. Even more rare for one to be a captain. But the icy looks at her doll like face would have frozen a normal man in terror. However, Takasugi Shinsuke was far from the cowardice an average man would possess. "WHAT DO YA MEAN?" Captain Botan demanded, straightening her pink wig. "This Cur, has been requested by the former captain of the seventh division, Housin." Botan spat. Human women wear out faster than Amantos (Generally speaking, Humans are a more fragile race.) so, there was a lack of them currently. Thus, the Yato tyrant requested more Earth women to fill the gap.

The news did not faze the Joui extremist in the least. "Is that so?' Takasugi took a long drawl from his pipe. "I believe your superiors are interested in keeping a good relationship with the Kiheitai. "

"The girl came from some 'noble' clan. Vermin like that. She'd bring much revenue to Yoshiwara. She's worth twice as such as the average bed warmer at twenty thousand yen!"

Resting his head on his hand, rubbed the forming ache behind his left eye. "Forty thousand should be more than enough, to meet your quota for the month. Bring her to my ship, leave her with one of my subordinates." With that, the Khitai leader turned and stalked back to his own ship. Leaving behind the Harusame, whose mouths had fallen to the floor.

"Did he say forty thousand?" A winged reptile like Amanto, wanted to know. He turned to his coworker; a Lion eared Amanto "Samurai truly are a crazy lot." He shook his head. "My brother fought against them in the war…. Came back missing a wing. Talking about how they are demons. I thought it was just PTSD. But, I think he might have been right." The lion Amanto nodded in agreement. Internally the reptile Amanto pondering changing careers to a spaceship insurance agent like his mother wanted.

"Bakas!" Botan shouted, stomping her feet. "Get the merchandise packaged up and placed on the customer's ship! WHat am I paying you for?!"

"But Cap'n…" A short jester looking pirate tugged on Botan's lacy sleeves. "He did not say what packaging he preferred?"

"For the price he is paying, give it the fancy Christmas department store wrapping." Botan ordered. "Now. I need to head back to write the reports. Berly. Come." She ordered to the grizzly- like Amanto who wore a Western Style top hat and monocle. Berly toddling behind his miniature captain taking orders on a frilly pink notepad with a hot pink quill.

Sometime later, a still sick, Bansai was shuffling to the kitchen area to make himself a bowl of Okayu. Since Matako is busy shopping for some different kimonos or whatever women shopped for, while they were on Earth and Takechi only cooks for women and children. Bansai was on his own to get his sustenance for the day after missing supper in the cafeteria thing on the other ship for the other crew.

"Ring ding dong  
Ring ding dong  
Ring diggi ding diggi  
Ding ding ding"

Rang out through the living quarters of the main ship. The record producer cursed whoever changed it to that annoying song, from the idol Shinee; as he blew his reddened nose. "Ugh. Couldn't they have at least used "Your brother is a 4 !." From the idol, Tsu Terakado.

Bansai's lip curled. "What is it?" He expected that one of his crew members forgot their keys. Instead of seeing a sheepish extremist, was at least a six-foot box. It was made out of a material more durable than cardboard, but had the look and feel of velvet, and was wrapped like a Christmas present, complete with red bow.

Bansai stepped around it gingerly. Circling it from all sides as if a Shinsengumi officer would spring out at him or a bomb would explode at any minute. He released his breath after a few minutes of poking the box with his katana and nothing happened.

The ribbon had a tag on it.

 _For Takasugi_.

It was stamped with a label that read paid for. His leader had never had anything delivered before. "I will be gone for a few hours today. Watch out for a delivery." Takasugi's husky voice wafted through Bansai's memory from earlier this afternoon, before he went back to his rooms and passed out again.

"Merg!" The box shook, Reflex took over before Bansai could even think, he removed his katana from his shamisen. Aiming it at the box, ready to attack at a moment's notice. Aside from a few more tremors, nothing happened. Something was off? What could his leader has ordered? That would move around on its own?

Bansai's hand raked over the box once more. Studying it for any clues as to what could be inside. He did not want to open it. Since it belonged to Takasugi; and invading the extremest personal space could prove more treacherous than any enemy lying in wait. While Shinsuke may respect his tactics, and even get along with him on a personal level as. He would not be willing to test how much the other man liked him, in case he lost a finger or his whole hand in it.

Left with few other options, Bansai tried to figure out the contents of the package without removing its seal. It was rather expensive looking. Just as the terrorist turned away, about to go reheat his meal and go back to bed, something caught his eye. Oddly, there were holes inside of the box. Each hole was evenly spaced throughout the box. They were about the size of an American quarter.

Taking a peak, the samurai's teal eyebrows drew up into his hairline. It was not part for the ship, new sword, books, or even clothes… Inside was a woman. A young woman wearing a dainty (l/c) yukata that looked like if it would rip in half at the slightest pressure. Another ribbon was wrapped around her eyes, and her hands and feet were also bound with that same ribbon.

A drop of sweat slid down Bansai's neck. 'I didn't realize Takasugi-sama was into this sort of thing.' He shrugged, and lifted the box in the hallway and laid it out in front of Takasugi's room. The samurai did not want to enter without his permission. Not his problem. Now Bansai is going to go back finish warming up his porridge, get some rest, and try to forget this whole thing. It would be hard to look Takasugi in the face tomorrow morning. Bansai has been with plenty of women, and perhaps a few men depending on how much he drank that night, but he had never done anything as kinky as this. 

Sometime later when (Y/n) stirred once more. The drug, or whatever it was they Harusame gave her made her fall back asleep a few minutes after she woke up earlier in the afternoon. (Y/n)'s head was groggy, but she had a vague memory of being tied up in a small enclosed space. Then nothing again. Her body felt heavy. Like chains or something was weighing her down. Feeling around, there were none. She was no longer tied up. That was a relief. 'It must just be an after effect of the drug.'

Slowly but surely the young woman's thoughts settled as the fog in her head cleared. Taking a minute to look around at her surroundings. "This isn't my room?" She muttered. This room was much bigger than the room she had in the apartment her father kept for his mistress, her mother and her. The walls appeared to be made out of woven bamboo. The bed she was sprawled on is a simple futon.

"Shit!" (Y/n) Cursed, then immediately clapped her hands over her mouth, hard enough to sting. This was not a bad dream that was going to go away. She was hoping she had just ingested too much sake with her friends, the night before, and was paying for it at the price of ill dreams. But this was no mere nightmare that could be spelled away by the morning light. This was her new reality.

Yesterday... (Y/n) thinks it was yesterday, anyway. She had been walking back home after having sparring practice with her friend, Jinko, at her martial arts Dojo. Martial arts are out of style since the Amanto came. Technology and firearms were all the rage now. However, after parents realized how annoying their kids are during summer breaks being home all the time, they started sending them to similar dojos under the guise of learning patience, their history/ earth history, and hard work- the parents just wanted a break, and it wore their kids out so when they got home they often just ate supper, took a bath, and passed out.

(Y/n) Shook her head, to clear her wandering mind. She was getting off topic. 'what happened after that?' She asked herself? After practicing with Jinko, (Y/n) stopped to pick up some ume juice, assorted tea leaves and a few other things at the market for her mother. One she finished paying or the things, the young herbalist said goodbye to the kind old woman that ran the stall, only to back up into a hard wall.

It was a tall man. No, not a human man. An Amanto. This one had vines growing all over its skin. She did not have time to see anything else because the next thing she knew is that she was being carried over his shoulder and thrown into the back of a white van. They did not even bother to bind her hands and feet. He just tossed her into the storage compartment and left her.

It was obvious as to why they felt so confidant. The back of the van did not open from the inside and there was a wall separating the trunk from the rest of it. Assuming this was an attempt to get money off her father, (Y/n) knew it would be best to act patiently. Fortunately for the thug throw her bags in with her. It was dark in the van. But there was enough light coming in from a few a crack in the roof to see enough to mix the ume blossoms and a few other ingredients together. As she saw in her mother books, in the bookcase in the living room. Careful, not to get any of it on her skin, the young noblewoman carefully poured it on her blades. The hid them in her bag until she was taken onto a ship.

Once (Y/n) was there, the Amanto tried to tie her up and place her into a cell. She heard one of them talking about a place… She couldn't remember the name. But one of them called it heaven on Earth. The kidnappers also said something about a red-light district. She got the gist this was not a ransom kidnapping. She was going to be sold into human slavery. Death would be better.

'So, I fought them. With everything I had. Then… I still failed. Man, If I make it out of this alive, Jinko will kill me for loosing.' (Y/n) Was so lost in her thought that she did not notice the dark figure as it slipped into the room with her. Until he spoke. "Where did you learn to fight like that?"

Startled. (Y/n) stood up, and raised her hands into fists. And almost immediately fell back against the bed. Her legs were weak from the drug and being cooped up for so long. Her back stark against the futon, Inoue looked up at him with distrust.

The young woman studied the man before her. Looking for any weakness she could exploit, as if he was just another opponent at her friend's Dojo. He was handsome. There was no doubting that. Although she was kind of short for a man, he was still taller than her by a couple inches. With dark hair that covered an eye, and a strong aurora- one that reeks of power. This man was no joke.

"I learned from my friends. And my mum…" (Y/n) decided it was best to tell him the truth. She kneeled on the edge of the futon. warily, waiting for the stranger. to make a move. He did not seem to be an immediate threat anyway. She explained everything she could, while leaving a few details out. 'Maybe I can get him to feel bad for me. The help me escape this wretched place..' The young woman mused.

"Your thinking I will help you escape. I won't." The man said. Smirking deviously at (Y/n)'s crestfallen face.

"Wait! How did you know what I was thinking!?" (Y/n) called out, astonished. 'Could he be a mind reader?' Nervously wringing her hands as she inched away.

The man ignored her. "I am Takasugi Shinsuke." He introduced himself instead.

"Wha…" (Y/n) gulped edging away from him. Although never having met him before personally, she knew of him. Every who was not living under a rock knew of the notorious Kiheitai commander.

Takasugi chuckled, relishing the fear and reverence that donned the young woman's face upon his introduction. He then got back to business. He explained how the Lady of the Inoue clan had sold her into slavery to prevent her from taking the title of heir away from her own daughter.

(Y/n) Inoue listened to this silently. the clenching and unclenching of her hands into fists, being the only thing that betrayed her fury…. Then Takasugi made a surprising suggestion. He was impressed by her skills. With practice, her skills could be honed into the perfect weapon. She would make an impressive addition to the Kiheitai.

Room and board, a salary, and most importantly her freedom. It was an offer that she was in no place to refuse. After all, she no longer had a home. If she dared try to return, the Lady of the household would only do it again, or maybe try something worse. Her father would be useless. The head of the Inoue clan had been ailing of late. That is most likely why, the Lady chooses not to act. Because Lady Inoue had never been particularly cruel to (Y/n) nor her mother, she seemed more to pretend that neither of them existed.

The young woman, imagined that their interactions would have stayed the same, if Lord Inoue had not fallen ill. More importantly he has not named an heir yet. Even though, it was

(Y/n) was not entirely sure she agreed with all of his ways, but she did agree that the government was pretty corrupt. She knew damn well that the Bakufu was well aware of the Harusame's activities, and they turned a blind eye to it. This world was a place where women and children were sold into slavery, where people with power abused the innocent. Takasugi Shinsuke wanted to destroy this world- and (Y/n) felt inclined to agree with him.

"I want to help you destroy this world." And make make a better one. (Y/n) added silently. Then standing, She smiled. "Before I can change anything. I suppose I should work on myself first." She bowed to her new leader. "Perhaps. I should start with a new name. (Y/n) never fit me anyway."

Takasugi left without responding to her musings. However, later on that night after she was introduced to the other members, the young woman found a book on herbs from around the galaxy on her night stand. On it was a sticky note. Written in beautiful Japanese, it reads only; "Masuyo Inoue."

Masuyo means _benefit the world._ 'I like it' The young woman smiled, hugging the book to herself, as she fell asleep in her new bedroom- the very same one she woke up in. Everything else as they say was history.

***  
Masuyo Inoue was in that very same room, thinking of the day she first joined the Kiheitai. She sighed. So much has happened in the two years since that day. Today was the anniversary of her joining Takasugi and the other's. And last year around this date, she had started sharing her boss's bed.

She supposed it was the equivalent of friends with benefits between them. Masuyo imagined that she would like to be more one day, maybe once we have finished our goals. There was no time for romance. And that was fine. There were more important things at stake here right now.

Like the fact that her body decided it was trying to kill her again. "Screw you too!" She growled at her belly as cramps sent pulsating pain in her lower abdomen. Wobbling out of her blanket nest, Masuyo crept down the hall past the others who were still in the living room; and into the kitchen.

'You'd think that with all the technology the Amanto brought with them. Cars, Tvs, internet, vaccines for diseases, that they would have something to prevent periods. Or at least menstrual cramping.' She frowned searching the walk in pantry. Her eyes scanned every shelf with the ferocity of a falcon searching for its next prey.

On the second shelf closes to the door there should be a box of those panda cookies with the chocolate in the middle. Masuyo made sure to buy at least five boxes, last time she had time to stop at the grocery store. They were not there. 'Perhaps it was moved?' Searching what seemed like a thousand other shelves.

Nothing. Not even any pocky. Or a chocolate bar. Nothing. Notta. Putz. Zero. The only thing that poor Masuyo could find that was even sweeter was some grape flavored Yakult in the fridge. 'Of course we have Shinsuke-sama's favorite treat.. But no chocolate.' Taking her sorry excuse for a treat back to her room, she past a shadow in the hall.

"Masuyo. That is the last Yakult." The extremist rebel, fully expected his lover and subordinate to apologize and put it back, like she normally would. He was not prepared for what came next.  
Bags appeared under her eyes. She did not feel like putting up with this shit. Especially not from him of all people.

"I need it." He looked as if he was going to ask why she would need the last yakult "I feel more emo than 2007 Pete Wentz." Mauyo deadpanned, disappearing into her room once more become a blanket burrito.

Takasugi stared after her for a few heartbeats. He was not sure what to say. 'I thought I was the Edge lord.'

Note:

Buttons: There is an actual Japanese fashion magazine called Zipper. So, Buttons are a parody of that,  
Inoue. In real life the actual Takasugi married a woman from the Inoue clan. 


End file.
